Livia Drusilla: The Matriarch of the Roman Empire

When you think of Ancient Rome your mind likely goes to the men in charge. Augustus formed the empire. Nero watched it burn. But, do you ever think about the women who worked behind the scenes?

Contrary to many historical scholars, women existed in Ancient Rome. Today, we’re going to discuss the life and times of the first Roman empress, Livia Drusilla, who was never called empress.

Born into a dynasty

Livia Drusilla’s blood was blue, babyyyy. By birth, she was born into the Claudii family and through adoption was part of other prominent Roman families as well. All of this is to say that from the moment she was born, she was one of the most eligible bachelorettes in Rome.

Oh, hey. If you’re new to the wonderfully disturbing world of history. It’s gross. And it was super normal for a dad to start planning a daughter’s wedding to one of his friends before she could even walk. Good stuff.

Livia’s dad, Marcus Livius Drusus Claudianus, was a mover and a shaker in Rome and he was very into the idea of Rome being a Republic, not an empire. Okay- so what does that mean? Put very plainly, he did not want there to be a king or a dictator or an emperor or anything of the sort. Livia’s dad (who we will call Drusus) was hella suspicious of this guy who was gaining way too much power.

A little guy named Julius Caesar. Maybe you’ve heard of him.

We don’t know how much Livia would have been told about Drusus’ thoughts on matters of state. She was a girl after all. However, I’m going to go ahead and make the speculation that he didn’t leave his daughter totally in the dark when it came to politics. I have no facts to back this up. So, no facts just vibes, I think he included his daughter to some extent in his thoughts on the world outside their villa.

And his thoughts? Well, to quote the great Gretchen Weiners, “We should totally just stab Caesar”.
And that’s what a group of Drusus’ friends did on March 15, 44 BCE.

Was Daddy Drusus there? No. Did he know it was going to go down? Unclear. But the thing about Ancient Rome is that it’s not necessarily about what you did or did not do when it comes to politics. It’s about who you associate with and who your family is. And Daddy Drusus rubbed elbows with a guy named Brutus (the leader of the Gretchen Weiners). So, tuck that away.

First Marriage

When Livia Drusilla was about 15 years old she was married for the first time. This guy’s name is Tiberius Claudius Nero (who we’ll just call Nero) and he was perfectly unremarkable in every way. An absolute nothing burger from a historical context. The only thing really of note is that he was about 22 years older than his new teenage bride.

Gross. 🤮

But this wouldn’t have been a surprise to Livia. 15 or 16 was the normal age for a girl of her place in the world to get married and it was pretty normal for your dad to choose one of his friends to align you with. So, if she had any objections to this marriage, it is lost to history.

Side Quest: Divorce

Okay, let’s take a quick detour from Livia’s story to talk about divorce and family life in Ancient Rome. Did you know that divorce was super common amongst the upper class?

If you’ve studied a lot of Renaissance or medieval European history, you know they kind of took that whole “to death do us part” thing seriously. That’s not really how things went down in Rome.

Now, don’t mistake this to mean that women had autonomy in Ancient Rome. LOL. No. However, if you were forced into a marriage that you weren’t happy with you could take solace in knowing that it was possibly not going to last forever. No. It would last as long as your dad wanted it to last. Your father, or your paterfamilias, was where your loyalty was for his whole life. So, if he told you to marry his super old friend, you did it.

But, if he and your husband had a falling out and he wanted you to divorce that guy and marry some other guy, you did it.

This is all to say that we have no idea how Livia felt about this marriage, but about a year after the wedding, she gave birth to the couple’s first son: a baby boy named Tiberius. And if you’re a fan of Ancient History, yes. We mean that Tiberius. But don’t worry, he doesn’t really lean into his sex creep life while his mother is still alive, so you’re all good. No content warnings needed… well, at least not for that.

Uh oh: Civil War

OK HERE’S THAT CONTENT WARNING: If hearing about death and suicide is going to ruin your day- hey! Maybe Ancient Rome is not for you. I would walk away now, and we’ll catch you some other time.

Remember how they totally just stabbed Caesar that one day? Well, some folks were big mad about that. That group was fronted by these guys named Octavian and Marc Antony. And to make a very, very long and bloody story a little shorter here’s what you need to know.

Civil war broke out and just a boatload of people were murdered or told if they did not take their own lives, they would be tortured and then murdered anyway. Which is how Livia’s dad died. We don’t know much about their personal relationship, but regardless having her dad die would have rocked Livia’s world. She very well may have been in shock when her boring ass husband told her they had to go on the run.

Nero was very much not into the idea of being murdered or taking his own life, so he loaded up his wife and one year old son and ran. And for 2 years Livia was on the run. Nero’s attempts to start rebellions and get revenge on his enemies went absolutely nowhere. God, this guy was a dud. So, we are going to skip all the details about where they went and what they tried to do and pull the focus back to the seventeen-year-old Livia Drusilla.

We are going to go out on a limb and assume she was scared as hell. She’d never left Rome before. Her dad was dead. She didn’t know if all her friends and other family were dead too. Oh, and she’s got this toddler to tend to. Have you ever been on a road trip with a baby? It’s annoying, right? Now can you imagine being on a road trip in the ancient world with a baby? While people are likely trying to find you and kill you?

This trauma has layers. It is a trauma lasagna if you will.

Return to Rome

Luckily, no one killed Livia’s little family and after 2 years on the run, Octavian was trying to end the Roman on Roman violence and extending an olive branch to all of those that assisted killing his uncle/ adopted father Julius Caesar. This means that Livia and co can come home.

And we guess when Livia and Nero heard this they got 👀 got real excited 👀 because she came back to Rome pregnant again.

Side Quest: Adultery

Amongst the nobility in ancient Rome, people weren’t marrying for love. These people had affairs all the time. It was frowned upon, especially for women. But the men in power were expected to have mistresses. Sometimes, those mistresses were the wives of other powerful dudes.

That all being said, what happened next was a surprise for everyone.

When Livia met Octavian

When they returned to Rome the main dude in charge was three dudes. It was called the Second Triumverent and it was a mess.

But for the sake of this story, the main dude in charge was the previously mentioned Octavian. And if you believe the story the way he wants you to believe it, he took one look at the newly returned Livia and was obsessed—love at first sight, etc etc.

Now could that be true? Sure. But could he also have seen that Livia was a smart chick who’s brains and amazing family connections were being wasted on an absolutely nothing burger marriage? Also probably true.

How did Livia feel about the HBIC’s new obsession with her? Who knows! But my take (once again, no facts just vibes) is that she would have been through the roof to have a husband that would give her some fucking stability after 2 years on the run. So, they both divorced their spouses and married each other. No biggie, right?

Well, it was kind of a biggie. Remember how Livia was pregnant? Well, divorcing your husband while carrying his child so that you could marry another guy is what we might call tacky today. Oh! And Octavian’s current wife was also pregnant. So this was double tacky, but that’s what they did!

AND THAT’S ONLY ACT ONE! Want to learn more about Livia Drusilla’s life? Check out our three part series on her over on the podcast!

Sources we used for these episodes: