10 Reasons Why Barbara Palmer was the Most Scandalous Mistress of Charles II (part 1)

Guest post by Claire from The Hisdoryan

The notorious Barbara Palmer is a lady from history that needs no introduction.

Fans of Queens Podcast know their scandalous women from history, and Barbara Palmer, 1st Duchess of Cleveland is perhaps one of the most scandalous of them all. Born in 1640 as Barbara Villiers, a junior member of a prominent aristocratic family, she became a courtesan at only 15 years old and became the first significant mistress of Charles II in 1660, the same year he was restored to the English throne.

Pictured: 100% that bitch, Babs Parmer.

You have listened to the episodes about Nell Gwyn and Hortense Mancini, but why was Barbara the most scandalous of them all? Here are my top ten reasons why Barbara was the baddest bitch in old Charles’ harem.

[Warning – contains references to incest, voyeurism, necrophilia… you get the idea]

  1. Barbara bit off a bishop’s penis while giving him a blow job – Granted, the bishop was dead but still. In 1666 the Great Fire of London ravaged the city, including St Pauls Cathedral. One of the items to survive was the mummified corpse of the 14th C Bishop of London and it was put on display. The rumour goes that when visiting, Barbara asked for a few moments alone with the corpse. However, she was caught performing an oral sex act on the bishop and removing his penis with her mouth.
  1. Barbara made Charles II claim paternity of her children – when they weren’t even his! Seriously, if Barbara was alive today she would end up on one of those trashy daytime TV shows taking DNA tests to find out who the father of her child was. Her first child, Anne, born in 1661 technically had three fathers – both Charles, Barbara’s first husband Roger Palmer, and her lover the Earl of Chesterfield all claimed to be the baby daddy.

    Barbara’s final child at the royal court was born in 1672 and christened Barbara. She also had three contenders to be her father. As well as Charles, at the time Barbara was also sleeping with her second cousin John Churchill (the future 1st Duke of Marlborough) and renowned rake Henry Jermyn.
  1. Barbara snubbed the queen by giving birth at Hampton Court Palace –  In 1662 Charles II married Catherine of Braganza, a princess of Portugal (she is credited with introducing the British to tea drinking).  Charles and Catherine honeymooned at Hampton Court Palace for two months. At the same time Barbara was pregnant with her second child by Charles, and insisting she was going to give birth at the palace. Barbara won out – that must have put a bit of a dampener on the honeymoon!
  1. Barbara wasn’t adverse to blackmail – In 1672 Barbara was pregnant for a sixth time by one of her many lovers. Charles initially refused to acknowledge the child as his. Barbara threatened to publish Charles’ letters to her, and then threatened to bash the child’s brains out in front of the king himself. Charles was forced to relent and acknowledge the child as his, apparently begging for forgiveness in front of the entire court.
  1. Barbara had a high sex drive – and that’s putting it mildly. Not satisfied with being mistress of the king, Barbara had multiple affairs with both men and women during her relationship with Charles – there is even a possibility she had an affair with James Scott, Charles’ first son by Lucy Walter. 

    Even more scandalous for the time, she didn’t stick to sleeping with people from her own class. She had sex with a footman in her bath and made love to Jacob Hall, a rope dancer, in his booth at St Bartholomew’s Fair in full view of everyone. There was even a contemporary poem about her that went ‘Full forty men a day have swiv’d the whore, Yet like a bitch she wags her tail for more’.
Get it, girl

Need more scandal? Come back next week for the rest of the tea.

Cheers, bitches!