Welcome back to the absolute bat shit shenanigans of Barbara Palmer, brought to you by Claire of the Hisdoryan. If you missed last week’s first 5 scandals head here to get caught up. Otherwise, enjoy!
The notorious Barbara Palmer is a lady from history that needs no introduction.
You have listened to the episodes about Nell Gwyn and Hortense Mancini, but why was Barbara the most scandalous of them all? Here are my top ten reasons why Barbara was the baddest bitch in old Charles’ harem.
[Warning – contains references to incest, voyeurism, necrophilia… you get the idea]
- Barbara was more petulant than a toddler throwing a tantrum – During Charles’ reign, he was presented with a revolutionary new mode of transport – the king’s new ride was the open-top carriage. Barbara demanded she be the first to ride in with it, and actually threatened to have a miscarriage on the spot if she was not given the honour. I would have paid good money to see her face when Charles chose his wife, Catherine of Braganza, for the first ride.
- Barbara was all about the money – Barbara had a reputation for racking up debts and spending Charles’ money (read golddigger) but in 1668 she outdid herself. Charles gifted Barbara a property called Berkshire House. However, soon after receiving this very generous gift Barbara had the place valued. She demolished the mansion, sold the timber and all the land bar one corner, where she built herself a new brick house. She made A LOT of money out of this transaction.
- Barbara was not adverse to drawing others into her twisted plans – When new beauty Lady Frances Stuart hit the royal court, Charles fell hard for the fifteen year old – even having her pose as Britannia for the new coinage. However, despite Charles’ best efforts, Frances was determined to preserve her virginity and was one of the few ladies to turn down Charles’ advances.
For some reason Barbara decided to befriend her rival. She and Frances staged a mock wedding to entertain the king. Afterwards, Barbara invited Charles to watch the two of them sleeping. Weird much?
- Barbara had a relationship with a conspirator, highwayman and poisoner – After Charles’ death in 1685, Barbara began a relationship with a man called Cardonell Goodman. He was the 17th Century definition of a bad boy, and even earned the nickname ‘Scum’.
In his early life he was expelled from university, expelled from service at court, and eventually ended up on the stage as an actor – but he had a reputation for being terrible. He committed a highway robbery, but for some reason was pardoned by James II.
When he got together with Barbara, he was detected in an attempt to poison two of her children. Later on he became a Jacobite, plotting against William III. He was caught but offered a pardon if he would rat on his friends. Reader, its no surprise that Goodman did exactly that and turned his friends in.
- Barbara ended her life with a bigamous marriage – In 1705 Barbara’s first husband Roger Palmer died, and she married Major-General Robert Fielding in a shotgun wedding. He turned out to be a fortune-hunter whom she later had prosecuted for bigamy. Just two weeks before marrying Barbara, he had married a woman who he thought to be an heiress (plot twist – she wasn’t).
These are just the most scandalous highlights from the life of a lady who definitely did not give a fuck what people thought of her, and lived life by her own rules. Let’s raise a glass to ‘the curse of the nation’ Barbara Palmer!